My Heart Will Go On
by savinglives44
Summary: PostDesire. After being rejected by Alex, Addison gets a shocking call from an old classmate. She tries to straighten out her life. AddisonAlex AddisonMark AddisonDerek AddisonOC Different pairings for every chapter. Other pairings MerDer CaGe
1. In My Dreams

**My Heart Will Go On **

Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
That is how I know you go on

Chapter 1: In My Dreams Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Except for Matt.

**Review please. **

It was dark and dreary where Addison Montgomery sat the hospital. The clouds and the sky seemed to connect. The air felt cool on her skin and she thought it might rain sometime soon.

_What am I doing out in this weather?_ But obviously, this was the one place at Seattle Grace where Addison could clear her head without anyone watching or judging her.

Addison replayed the events of the past few moments in her head. She had never been so bluntly rejected in her life. Derek ran away, without telling her. Mark slept with other women behind her back. Alex was kind of refreshing. He made a clear cut, no avoiding or secrets. She didn't have to wait months for the relationship to finally end.

This thing- with Alex- it was over before it even started. Addison shifted on the bench, pushing her hair out of her face. She had been sitting here for more than forty minutes and it was starting to get uncomfortable. The bench was really made for two people. _There's nothing left for me here in _ _Seattle__. When did everything become so different? I must have missed a memo or something because I feel like I'm still the same. Maybe I have and I can't tell because of this distorted point of view. Everything is moving slowly and quickly at the same time. I'm tired of this._

She looks at the large building behind her. "So many memories..." she mummers. Just the sight of the building filled her with disappointment and guilt, but mostly disappointment. Memories flashed through her mind.

Teaching Izzie how to distance herself from her patients. _That was a failure._

Meeting Meredith for the first time. _I was still hurting then._

Derek telling her that he wanted to give their marriage a second chance. _So hopeful._

Derek punching Mark. _They used to be best friends, until I came between them._

Derek and Meredith at prom. _And the panties._

Making the sixty-day bet with Mark. _A waste from the start._

Almost kissing Alex. _I thought he wanted me._

Finally sleeping with Alex. _A mistake. _

And Alex telling her...This new pain was too much for her to even think about. Why did it hurt so much? It made her sick to even think about it. She felt so humiliated and foolish.

Addison closed her eyes and stood up. She could feel the wind run through her hair. She tried to relax, but her breath wouldn't slow down. Tears burned in her eyes. Her throat closed up and the choking sobs put her back down in her seat on the bench.

The wind let out a howl and threw the tears back into her eyes. _I just want to be free from all this pain. I need to get out of here to somewhere where the wind is warm and the people are caring_. She sighed. It sounded like a dream.

She heard a voice, but she couldn't see anyone. And she was all wet. Her eyes fought open and she looked up. It was Alex, shaking her. He yelled at her. "What are you still doing here?"

She looked around. It was pouring rain. Her hair and clothes were completely drenched. _I don't remember this at all. Could I have fallen asleep_? She's so confused that she doesn't answer him right away. He's getting wet and she's getting wetter so he pulls her arm and guides her to a nearby car. Before he unlocks it, she presses him against the door and forces her tongue into his mouth. He doesn't resist her kisses until he's out of breath. She allows him to pull back and steps away. Then, she yells at him, not because she's angry, but because the rain is pounding on the street and it's hard to hear. "I don't care if you don't want me! I just can't end this relationship on a bad note! We absolutely have to have sex RIGHT NOW."

She's pressuring him and he can't take the heat. He opens the door behind him and shoves her into the backseat. A million thoughts were running through his head, but he can't just deal with this quite yet. He climbs in next to her and shuts the door. "What were you thinking? Are you trying to get pneumonia or something?"

Addison doesn't say a word. The cold and the wetness were clouding her head_. Did I just say that we absolutely have to have sex right now_?

Alex notices that she's shivering. He asks her "Are you okay?" She nods, but her teeth still chatter. He reaches into the passenger seat of his car and pulls out a neatly folded blanket. "I sometimes get cold when I'm driving. The heating system in this car doesn't really work." He explains. She nods again.

He drapes the blanket over their legs. An awkward silence passes. Alex wants to apologize, but he can't. He's never been great at communication and he never did anything wrong, right? Alex moves the blanket up to her shoulders, taking a little less off of his side. She fiddles with the edge of the blanket. He opens his mouth to speak and she looks at him. It takes him a while, but he eventually manages to get out "Are we going to talk about what just happened?"

She shakes her head. Alex feels so clueless. He decides to try a different approach. "How long have you been out here in the rain?"

She shrugs. "I don't know."

Alex runs a hand through his hair trying to sop up the extra wetness. "Well, did you go to Joe's, like you said?"

She answers casually. "No."

_What was she doing? _"Care to elaborate?"

She leans back and rests her feet on the driver's seat armrest. Alex glances down at her legs. They seem to stretch for miles. Slightly embarrassed by his stare, she pulls the blanket back over her legs to break his concentration. "I don't know. I just sat down on the bench after my shift to think."

Alex sits up quickly. "You mean, you were out there for over an hour?! Addison! It's been raining for a half hour!"

Addison looks down. "I know, it was stupid. I wasn't keeping track of time."

Alex was hysterical. "You could be sick! All you had to do was say something and I would have-"

She cuts him of by kissing him again. He pushes her away. "You've got to stop doing that."

Addison persists. "No." She nibbles on his bottom lip. He tries to keep himself from touching her, but he can't stop. When she's like this, her skin is addicting to him.

" Addison..." he complains. She ignores him and begins to divest both of them of their clothes.

It's not like their first time at all. She straddles him and takes control in almost every aspect. He tries to touch her, but she won't let him. It seems to him as if she's trying to do it all herself.

But, Addison knows he's a huge part of this. There would be no point without him. She wants him to remember her forever. So, she takes matters into her own hands...and mouth.

After a while, he tugs at her hair and pulls her mouth back up to his lips. He doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know what she's doing. It's all a blur of movement. Before they know it, they both feel a hard rush of pleasure overtake their bodies and she collapses on his chest. They synchronize their breathing so they fit together perfectly.

After the high wears off, Addison realizes. _Fuck. _She reaches to the floor of the car, fishing for her undergarments. _Screw it _she thinks. She pulls on her blouse. Alex's mind is still too jumbled to form words. _Why is she moving so fast? _

Addison hurriedly pulls on her skirt. "Umm...Alex?"

He looks up and his eyes can barely form her outline. All he can see is red hair. He blinks a couple of times and that seems to help. She's still on top of him. She taps him on the chest. "Alex? I have to go. I'm sorry."

His hands reach out, but they grab fistfuls of air. She's backing away and reaching for the door handle. "I'm sorry. This was a mistake."

He can't speak or do anything. He feels her warm body leave him just as a gust of cold air rushes in. He gasps at the sensation. She leaves him lying there in the backseat of his car. Alex just stays there, for minutes and stares at the ceiling of the car. There's not much to it. No cracks to count. Just empty space. He gets lost in it.

It's a long time before he realizes that his back aches. He sits up and turns around. He sees the cause of his pain: a lacy bra. And it's turquoise. _I don't remember this color. Did she change?_

He moves his legs to the right. Turquoise panties. Wedged between the seats. _Are we in high school_? Alex picks up the matching lingerie and throws it into the passenger seat_. I should hang these up on the bulletin board_. He decides against it_. Nah. _ _Addison__ would kill me._

He gets into the driver's seat and makes sure she's completely out of his sight before he starts the engine.

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Addison clapped a hand to her mouth as she walked. She couldn't believe that they had sex AGAIN. How could she come on to him like that? At least, now what she felt when she looked at Seattle Grace was more guilt than disappointment. She took a deep breath. She didn't know where she was going. She'd passed her car, but just kept walking. Walking. Walking was better than sitting. Sitting required thinking. When you walked, you could think about walking.

_What? _She asked herself. _Am I going crazy? _

Just as turned around to head back to her car, a phone rang. It was her cell phone. She didn't recognize the number, but it looked familiar. She flipped the phone open and held it against her ear. "Hello?"

" Addison?" The voice asked. It definitely sounded familiar. But it's not possible- it couldn't be...

"It's Matt."

Addison dropped her phone and screamed.

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Hmm. I think you're going to like this one. Personally, I'm kind of excited. I know, another two parter. This is my last one for a month, I promise. I just wanted to know what you thought first. Review. I have some of the next part written, so you never know. I could post really quickly. And you all now that first chapters are mostly setting up the storyline. So, if you don't like it right away, give it another shot on the second chapter. It gets A LOT more interesting.

I know, I'm already writing another story which is a handful itself. This is NOT, I repeat NOT, the sequel to Right Kind of Wrong. I have another idea for that. :) I'll get around to writing the wedding sometime soon...after the excitement of this one wears off. I should really learn how to finish whatever I start. I've got a lot of good ideas for the wedding, but there are just too many. So, I'm taking a little break.

But this isn't about Right Kind of Wrong. This is about My Heart Will Go On. Let's talk about it, shall we? So the best part about this one is that each chapter is going to be a different pairing. Kind of. Like friendship pairing sometimes and romantic relationship pairing sometimes. And every chapter has Addison in it. Of course. Really. Do I write anyone else?

I haven't really decided on the end pairing. We'll see.

And don't worry about Matt.

If it seems like I'm rambling a lot, it's just because I really want to get to two thousand words on this document. I even typed out "two thousand". I don't know why. It's just a goal. Do you know what my other goal it? 10 OR MORE reviews. Go now.


	2. Spaces Between Us

**Disclaimer: See chapter one. **

**My Heart Will Go On **

_Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on_

**Chapter 1 Part 2: Spaces Between Us **

_Previously: _

_Just as turned around to head back to her car, a phone rang. It was her cell phone. She didn't recognize the number, but it looked familiar. She flipped the phone open and held it against her ear. "Hello?"_

_" _ _Addison__?" The voice asked. It definitely sounded familiar. But it's not possible- it couldn't be..._

_"It's Matt."_

_Addison__ dropped her phone and screamed._

Thankfully, the phone did not break. Just a little scratch. Addison was relieved. She held her phone back up. "Matt?"

Matt was laughing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Addison gathers her thoughts. "I thought you- I thought that you were..."

"Dead?" Matt's voice sounded livelier than it had in years. "You would have known if you had stuck around for a little longer."

Addison suddenly felt terrible. "I'm sorry. It's just- Derek and I- we got internships in New York. "

Matt smiled. "You two always put work first. But don't worry no hard feelings. I have a new respect for life now. I forgive everyone." He paused. "I'm just curious. You thought I was dead? Did you even think about the funeral?"

_I can't believe he's alive! I haven't thought about him in years! _ Addison kept walking toward her car. "We figured that your family didn't want to see us ever again! A couple of years later we thought about visiting, but we couldn't bear the idea of your family hating us for leaving you."

She leaned against her car. It might be a bad idea to drive when she's having such an emotional conversation. Matt cleared his throat. "Uh...my mom actually did die."

_Damn it. I'm really striking out today _ Addison thought. "I'm so sorry, Matt. We should have been there for you."

"It's okay. It's been eight years. I've moved on and apparently, so have you."

Addison was curious. _What did he know? _"What?"

"I heard about the divorce. And the affair." He knew this would get to her.

_How did he know? _Before she could say anything, he answered her question. "I called your mom yesterday. She was quite surprised too. Does everyone in New York think I'm dead?"

Addison pretended to hit her head against the car. _This is such a big mess. _"Yeah. Derek and I spread the word around. We were mourning."

Matt laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. But they're both in Seattle? What are you doing there?"

Addison groaned. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." She thought of Alex. _I can't tell Matt. He would crack up._

Matt needed to use the right approach. Addison could be very fragile. From what it sounded like, Derek and Mark had hurt her. "I need a favor."

_This man is full of so many surprises. I miss him so much. _"What kind of favor?"

"I need an OB."

_Never a dull moment. _"What?! YOU need an OB? What is this, some kind of medical marvel? If, so count me in." Addison talked hurriedly.

Matt thought _Bad choice of wording. _"No. I built a hospital. I need an OB to work there. And from what your mother said, you could use a break."

Addison was ecstatic. "You built a hospital?! How in the world did you get all that money?"

This was a long story. Matt decided to shorten it up. "I raised it. People found my recovery miraculous. I started a fund for the Matt Steele hospital. It's small, mind you, but I think we could do some great work."

"Wait a minute.'We?' You got your medical degree?"

Matt was very proud of this. "Yes I did. I'm a board-certified surgeon, thank you very much."

Addison was impressed. "Specialty?"

"Oncology."

_Aww. That's amazing. HE'S amazing. Coming back from cancer...and then helping others with it. _"That's so wonderful, Matt. I'm really proud of you."

Matt knew that would touch her. "So, will you help me?"

Wow. Addison had been looking for a break. This could be her chance. But it was so impulsive. Addison never did anything impulsive, except for impulsive sex. "Umm...first of all, where is it?"

"That's the best part. It's right here in LA." He tried to make is sound cheerful. He knew that she hated to move, to completely pick up her life and have to start over new. But Addison knew LA really well; she spent half of her childhood there.

Addison surprised him by saying "Okay." Then she continued. "When?"

Ouch. Matt tried to break this one in easily. "Well, the hospital opens...this Monday."

"Monday? That only gives me three days to find a place!" This new experience was turning out to be more stressful than her life here in Seattle. Actually, that wasn't true. Nothing could be more stressful than her life in Seattle.

Mark had an idea. This is what he really wanted to talk to her about. He still loved her. "Well, you could stay...with me."

Oh-no. Addison did NOT want to break his heart again. Matt was such a great friend. "Matt..."

He just needed to get her to LA. Then, he could tell her how he really felt. Right now, he was going to say whatever made her happy. "Don't worry, Addison. We're friends. We can be roommates. We would have so much fun. It'll be just like med-school."

Med-school. When Matt first got sick. Addison blinked back tears. Matt recovered "I mean, without the cancer." She smiled. He was on surprisingly good terms with his illness. "I guess."

"Good. I already bought your plane ticket. I'll have it shipped to Seattle Grace over-night. You can pick it up in the morning and be on the flight by one. Okay?"

He really had this all planned out. It seemed kind of suspicious. Addison questioned him. "How did you know I would say yes?"

Matt laughed. It was because he had spent years watching her talk and move in college. He knew her better than he knew himself. Hopefully, she hadn't changed much in the past decade. But he couldn't let her know his feelings just yet. "You're so predictable, Addison."

"Maybe opposites really do attract. You're the most unpredictable person I have ever met."

Matt couldn't decide if that was a compliment or not. _She said "attract", but she called me "unpredictable". Is "unpredictable" a good thing?_ He told himself that he should stop obsessing over each word. This is why he knows her so well. "Thank you?" he asks jokingly.

Addison felt like she should really catch up with him. Unfortunately, it was really dark out and she didn't want to be in this weather much longer. "Matt? I should get going. But I trust that you'll send me the ticket."

"It's already sent. Be sure to tell Richard that I'm alive, just in case he doesn't know."

_Crap. Richard. Contract at _ _Seattle__ Grace. _"Oh-no. I have a contract. I can't break it, Matt."

Matt wasn't worried. "Just tell him about me. That should crack him. As a last resort, tell him to do it for his wife. This is what Adele would want."

That felt morally wrong to Addison. "That seems kind of low, don't you think? They just got a divorce."

Matt took a deep breath. "Do you want to get out of that hell-hole or not?"

Addison knew she had to leave. She had to get away from all of the failure. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow Addison."

"Bye, Matt." Addison finally climbed into her car. She was so tired. This day had been wearing on her. Just the little bit of hope that she had now was enough to give her the strength to drive home.

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The next day Addison told Richard that she was resigning. He, of course, had protested at first. Well, he had protested for an hour and a half. But the second Addison had mentioned Matt's name, Richard clamped up. She reminded him that he would not be chief anymore. And if either Mark or Derek, or maybe Preston, got the job, they would be sure to let her go. The final straw came at the uttering of Adele's name. Richard gave in and signed a release of her contract. Addison smiled. _This is the first step to breathing normally again. _She asked Richard to keep her matters private. Only if someone asked him could he tell where she was. And no address. Just "She's gone. She left for LA." She didn't want the whole hospital to know why she was really leaving. _I bet Mark is the first to notice. Then Alex, just because we work together. But Derek- I bet he's the last one to find out. _She unpacked her locker quietly and quickly; she didn't want anyone to notice before she left. As promised, there was a plane ticket waiting for her at the front desk. Her bags would be sent later. Addison looked outside. It was a sunny day in Seattle. She pulled her sunglasses out of her purse and slipped them on. Feeling energized, she strutted across the hospital lobby just like she did ten months ago. She turned around to take one last look at Seattle Grace. She expected to feel a little sentiment.

She only felt relieved.

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Mark Sloan was angry. After sixty fucking days of no sex, you would think that he'd be extremely satisfied. He had been very excited to bring that nurse back to his hotel room. He figured that "whole" feeling would have come back after the first time. But, no. He still felt empty.

_Alright _he thought. _Round 2. _Afterwards, nothing. Still the feeling of emptiness. After round 3, he only felt frustrated. At least the nurse looked like she was having a good time. But Mark still needed to prove to himself that meaningless sex still made him feel better. So he tried four more times to bring the grand total to seven mind-blowing orgasms for this lucky young lady. She looked at him as if he was a god. Hell, he was a god by normal standards. But he still felt like crap. _Addison and her little bet has turned me into a pussy. I just need to have sex with her. Then, it'll all be over. She owes me for this. I waited sixty grueling days and I am getting some NOW. _He threw off the covers and pulled on his boxers. _She's just down the hall. I'll be very quiet and- oh crap. I forgot about the nurse- what's her name? I can't just leave her here. _A small voice within him said "Yes you can!" He stared down at her. She did seem to be fast asleep. Then, she let out a little snore. _How attractive. I'm sure if I'm not gone long, she won't notice. I'll just have to be back before morning. She should be out for a while. I gave her one hell of a workout. _Mark threw on a t-shirt and headed quietly out the door. He knew exactly which room was Addison's, having knocked on that door many times before.

So, once again, he knocked on her door and stood right in front of the peephole, so she could see him. After a few moments, a tall muscular man answered. He was wearing a robe and breathing heavily, implying some kind of physical activity. Mark's heart dropped. _She's already moved on. _The man eyed him, not angrily, but more flirtatiously. He voice was scratchy. "How can I help you?"

Mark had a strange feeling that this guy was hitting on him. Then, another man appeared in the doorframe. He looked about the same age as McMuscles, but he was smaller and frailer. The smaller man took one look at Mark and asked in a voice too deep to be natural "How can WE help you?"

Both sets of eyes traveled up and down Mark. Mark felt very uncomfortable. "Uh...nothing. I'm looking for my- my girlfriend." Both men frowned. "She used to live here. I'm sorry to...bother you" Mark could see the disappointment in their faces. _Maybe I could...NO MARK! Think of hot women. Think of _ _Addison__. Yep. I'm definitely straight. _

The smaller man spoke. "Oh honey. Well, if you need anyone to talk to, we're here."

Mark smiled. "Not tonight. But maybe I'll take you up on that later."

Both men winked and said goodbye. Mark could not help but laugh. Then he thought of Addison. _Did she change rooms on me? I must find out tomorrow. She had better not be avoiding me at work. _He used the key to unlock his door. There, the nurse stood, wrapped in a bed sheet with her hands on her hips. She did NOT look happy. Mark grimaced. She tapped her toes. "Where have you been?"

Mark had a lot of explaining to do.

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I just wanted to get this up today. So, if you're confused about Matt, don't worry. I intend to make it very clear what happened later on. Maybe flashbacks?

No spoilers. I'm going to keep you guessing.

So technically, this is the end of chapter one. So review and make my day. Hope you liked it.


	3. Last for a Lifetime

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

**My Heart Will Go On**

Thanks for reading!

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on _

_Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go till were gone _

It was very sunny in LA, completely different from Seattle. Addison saw this as a good sign. Her life was changing for good. Matt had given her directions to his house and she was driving a convertible with the top down. She's always wanted to do this, to feel this free. Addison turns up the radio and belts out the lyrics at the top of her lungs. The clear air in LA feels great in her lungs, compared to the rainy and humid air in Seattle. Addison drives through the suburbs until she reaches his neighborhood. Noticing the size of the houses, Addison concludes that Matt's practice must be going VERY well. Matt's house is about three-fourths of the way into the neighborhood. It's big, almost too big for one person to live there. She wonders if he has a roommate. The lawn is neat and the flowers are beautiful. She walked up the stone path to his house and rang the doorbell. In an instant, it was opened.

It was Matt. He smiled at her. Addison couldn't help but notice how much he had changed. In college, Matt had been on the chubby side. But now, he was in better shape than ever. His face had lost all of the fat and it was now somewhat chiseled. He stood tall, taller than Addison which was quite an accomplishment. The biggest change though, was his hair. Dark, curly, and below his shoulders for most of med school, it had been his most distinguished trait. Now, it was short and lighter. It looked MUCH better. The only thing that hadn't changed was his face. His dark brown eyes stood out against the tone of his skin. His smile was just how she remembered it.

Addison had barely any time to notice all of this before he embraced her in a tight hug. _Mmm. He even smells good. _Matt pulled Addison into his living room and shut the door. They stood there in each other's arms for minutes. Time passed and he would not let her go, for fear she would run again. She was the first to speak. "Matt. I've missed you."

He just pulled her tighter. "I missed you too." She looked over her shoulder, trying to catch his eye. "Matt? Maybe we should have a seat and we can catch up." Matt loosens his grip. "Right."

He leads her over to the couch and sits down right next to her, putting his arm around her. She leans into his chest. "I was just thinking about how much you've changed."

He laughs. "Yeah, the fat and the hair, right? I've been trying to stay healthier and cleaner."

She smiles. "It worked. You look fantastic."

He runs his hands over her arms. "You always look fantastic. You haven't changed a bit."

_He always knows just what to say. _ Addison looks up at him. "Really?"

His eyes bore into hers. "Well, your eyes are a little more tired. That's all though."

She closes her eyes and snuggles back into him. "I'm so happy to be here, Matt."

He buries his nose into her hair, trying to envelope as much of Addison possible. "Me too." He notices that her eyes are closed. "Are you tired? If you want to sleep, I have a bed made for you."

Addison's heart melts at the gesture. "Yeah. That sounds good." _He's such a great friend. Why did I ever leave him? _She knows the answer to this, yet she still finds herself asking.

Matt turns her around in his arms, getting ready to carry her. But she looks so beautiful in that second. Maybe if he's really quick, he can kiss her. Just once. He leans in and she can feel his breath on her lips. Before she can stop him, he presses his lips to hers.

Matt feels her body tense in his arms. He immediately releases her lips, embarrassed. Her eyes are open and staring at him. "Matt…I thought you said that we would be friends."

At least she doesn't push him away. He laughs, trying to make a joke of the situation. "Well, most of the time, people in a relationship are friends." _Please don't leave me._

Addison swallows. She could love Matt, but she really hasn't gotten over the fact that he's alive yet. And she can't get hurt again. _But it's not fair to him that Derek, Mark, and Alex have ruined his chance with me. If we go really slowly, I can stop it whenever I need to. _"Okay. But we have to go really slowly."

"Sure." He picks her up and carries her down the hall to the master bedroom. "You can stay in here."

Addison protests as he gently sets her down on the bed. "No, that's not fair to you. This is your house. I can stay in the guest room."

Matt shakes his head. "No. It's okay. I'll be upstairs if you need anything."

Addison looks around. "My luggage isn't here yet, so do you have any...umm...pajamas?"

Matt smiles at her. He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt of his. He hands them to her. She motions to the adjacent bathroom. "I'm going to go put these on." She smiles back and heads into the bathroom. _Wow. This thing is huge. What a change from the crowded hotel bathroom. Two sinks, a large shower and a Jacuzzi! I'm in heaven._ Addison mentally places all of her toiletries in the bathroom while dressing. When she exits the room, she finds Matt still standing in the bedroom. _Is he expecting something? _"You didn't have to wait for me."

He pulls back the covers on the bed. "I know. I wanted to make sure you didn't need anything else."

Addison climbs into bed. "Thanks. This is the most someone has ever done for me."

Matt's eyes lose their sparkle and turn sad. He sits on the bed next to her. "I would have been there for you, if I had known how bad it was in New York. I just assumed that you and Derek were always happy."

Addison sighs. "You know, I always thought that too."

Her eyes scream for his attention, so he pulls her into another hug. When he pulls back, he first notices how hot she looks wearing his clothes and sitting in his bed. It's a very appealing visual. _No! Don't think like that! She wants to go slow. _But her eyes are bright and she looks ten years younger than she actually his. He feels a stir of arousal. _Crap. _

Addison sees him wincing. "Is something wrong?"

He looks back up at her. Her eyes are tearing up. _She thinks I'm actually in pain. _Matt laughs.

Addison doesn't know what is going on. "Does something hurt?"

Matt laughs harder and shakes his head. He lies down and accidentally rolls off the bed.

"MATT!" Addison screams. It's a very high bed. He could be hurt!

But, no. Having the wind knocked out of him, Matt is still laughing though in spurts. _At least the erection is gone. _

She jumps down and pulls him back onto the bed. She throws the covers over them both and holds him close. Matt looks down at her. "What are you doing?"

"It's just- your face- you looked like you were in pain."

Matt hugs her. She's still worried about him. That's a good sign. "Its okay, Addy. You shouldn't worry about that kind of stuff now. I'm fine."

Addison absently rubs his chest. She didn't know that she was sending goose bumps through his skin. "Yeah, I know. I just remember how you looked the last time I saw you. I still feel terrible about that. I didn't even say a proper goodbye."

Matt didn't want her to feel guilty about anything. "I know it wasn't your fault. I know what Derek said."

Addison looks up at him. "How?"

Matt sighs. He didn't want to remind her of that day, but she should know. "I was awake. You guys though that I was asleep, almost in a coma. My eyes were closed, but I could still hear you arguing."

_Eight years ago in a hospital room in LA..._

_Addison__ ran her hands though her hair. "We can't just leave him, Derek!"_

_Derek stood up from his seat in a chair. "_ _Addison__! We have two internships TOGETHER at one of the most prestigious hospitals in _ _New York__! Do you know how lucky that is?" _

_"Internships or not, Matt needs us! We have to be here for him!" _ _Addison__ gestured towards Matt, who was "sleeping" in a hospital bed._

_Derek slammed his fist down on the bed. "For what? His death?! Wake up, _ _Addison__! Matt's gone!"_

_Tears started to well up in _ _Addison__'s eyes. "It's like you don't even care about him! When did you become this self-centered?"_

_Derek softened his tone to a fierce whisper. "You know I care about Matt. He's my friend too, but we need to focus on us. We HAVE to move on!"_

_Addison__'s voice was anxious. She didn't want to let Matt go. "Derek, they could hold our places for just a while longer. I need to be here with him. Please!"_

_Derek's voice hinted with jealousy, but Addison didn't notice. "We don't know how long it will take. They won't hold our places any longer. It's now or never."_

_Addison__ sat back down in her chair. Matt's bed was separating the two. "I can' do this. I can't make this decision. He means too much to me."_

_Now Derek was angry. "Why didn't you just marry him, then? Are you regretting your choice?"_

_Addison__ looked up from her hands. "What are you talking about?"_

_Derek walked around the bed to where she sat. "I've seen the looks that he gives you. He loves you. You are his best friend. Normally, I wouldn't worry about it. You were completely committed to me. Now, you're testing our marriage."_

_Did Matt really look at her like that? Derek wasn't completely off base. Matt had been hitting on her for years. She had always pulled away, and Matt knew why. _ _Addison__ really loved Derek._

_But now, _ _Addison__ was angry. She couldn't believe Derek. Derek had no right to say these things. (Okay maybe he did.) But he was just making her more upset when, he should be comforting her. "This isn't a contest, Derek. I married you. I'm still committed to you. But I can't forget him. I choose both of you."_

_Derek grabbed her wrists and pulled her to her feet so he could look her in the eyes. "You can't have both of us. You have to pick. The dead guy-" He let go of her. "Or me, your husband."_

_Tears were free falling from _ _Addison__ face. She started to hit Derek in the chest with her fists. She was strong, but she didn't hurt him. "I hate you. I hate you!" She kept repeating herself. Soon, she became tired and collapsed in his arms. Derek held her up, as she was too weak to support herself. Now, he tried comforting her. "Its okay, Addy. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" He tilted her head up and placed a kiss on her lips. "Okay, now." He tried to rub her back, but he needed both arms to support her. "Do you want to say goodbye to Matt?"_

_Addison__ nodded. She shuffled over to Matt's bedside. She placed a kiss on his forehead and said "Goodbye, Matty. I'll love you forever."_

_She expected to see Derek frown, but he was surprisingly understanding. They both took one last look at Matt and left the room._

_Only then did Matt open his eyes and cry._

"I'm sorry." Addison looks down, but all she can see is Matt.

Matt grabs her hands and makes her look at him. " Addison, I've already told you. It's fine. We've moved on."

Addison rests her head on the pillow. "Will you stay with me tonight? It's a new place and I want you close to me."

Matt has been waiting to hear those words forever. "Of course." He lies down on the bed and places a hand on her hip.

"Matt?" Addison wants to tell him something, but she's nervous. She doesn't want him to leave. "No funny stuff, okay? I really meant it when I said take it slow."

Matt removes his hand quickly. "Right, sorry."

Addison grabs his hand and puts it back on her body. "You can do that. Just nothing past second base, okay?"

Matt smiles mischievously. "You mean, I can do this?" Addison is facing him so Matt can easily run his hand up her side. He was touching her, without really groping her. Addison takes a deep breath in. "Yes." Matt couldn't tell if she was uncomfortable or aroused. Addison kisses him quickly on the lips, and then pulls his hand off of her for a second so she could flip her body. Then, she tugs on his hand so his chest touched her back. He willingly spooned her. She laughed. "And that's all the sex you'll be getting tonight."

He smiled against her neck before he kissed it.

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_That morning..._

Alex, Mark, and Derek all walk into the hospital at the same time. Alex and Mark share the same goal- find Addison. Alex carries a small shoebox. Last night, he placed the turquoise underwear in the box, intending to give it to Addison. But she wasn't in her normal residence in the NICU. Strangely enough, he found Mark Sloan there too. Alex decided to play dirty. He walked up to Sloan. "Excuse me, Dr. Sloan. Have you seen Addison?" He purposely used Addison's first name. He knew it would piss Mark off.

Mark replied with a smirk. "No, but I'm going to later."

"Well, I'm kind of in a hurry. Would you mind giving this to her?" Alex offered the shoebox.

Mark grabbed it, as to look inside, but Alex pulled it out of his reach quickly. "I'd prefer it if you respected her privacy. It's personal."

Normally, Mark would have made a smart aleck comment like "I'm not your delivery boy, Karev." But Mark really wanted to see what was in that box. "Okay Karev. I'll give it to her. No peeking. I promise." Mark mentally crossed his fingers.

Alex pretended to be on the edge about trusting Mark. "Well, okay. If you promise not to look." He handed over the box to Mark. Mark greedily grabbed the box and headed straight for the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Mark slowly opened the lid, in fear that it was some kind of animal. When he looked inside, he realized that it was much worse than any poisonous snake.

Addison's underwear.

That Mark had specially bought for her in New York.

That son of a bitch!

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Mark couldn't find Addison anywhere. He stormed around the hospital, looking for her. He finally went straight to the source: Richard. _Maybe she called in sick. _He stood in front of Richard with one hand on his hip, one hand firmly grasping the shoebox. "Dr. Webber."

Richard turned around. He supposed this would be his first inquiry about Addison. He prepared himself.

Mark thought _Why does Richard seem so stressed? I hope _ _Addison__'s alright. _"Do you know where Addison is? I have something that I NEED to give to her."

Richard pretended to casually fiddle with the charts in front of him. "Uhh...she's gone."

Now Mark was confused. "What do you mean, gone?"

Richard knew there was no way he could avoid this conversation. "She's taking a personal leave."

_How could she do this to me? And what about her job? And her intern? _Just the thought disgusted Mark. _Maybe something happened between them. _Another thought crossed Mark's head when he remembered their conversation from yesterday. _What if she's avoiding ME? Am I the cause for this sudden leave of absence? _Mark needed answers to these questions. He was sure Richard knew more. He pressed on. "Well, where did she go?"

"LA." Richard replied simply. He didn't want to go into more detail if Mark didn't ask for it.

Mark frowned. It seemed as if Richard didn't want to talk to him. "Could you be a little more specific?"

Richard panicked. _What I am supposed to say? _Richard decided to be discreet. "No." He picked up a random chart and left without a second glance. He needed to get out of there before Sloan asked another question.

Mark was left behind in a perplexed stupor. Neither man noticed Derek Shepherd eavesdropping. Or the shocked look on his face when he whispered...

"He found her."

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Derek left a note with Richard's secretary, saying he would be gone for a day or two. He knew how unprofessional his actions were.

He didn't care.

The next morning, Derek was in LA. He knocked on the door to Matt's house, much like Addison had done the day before. Again, Matt answered. As soon as Matt saw Derek, he felt an instinct to shut the door in his face. However, Matt held back. _It is about forgiveness. _he reminded himself. Matt plastered a smile on his face. "Derek. What a surprise. What are you doing here?" He tried to pretend like nothing was going on, like he hadn't stolen Derek's ex-wife right from underneath his nose.

Derek adjusted his sunglasses and laughed. "Is that the way to greet a long-time friend?"

_Long-time friend, my ass. _Matt thought. Derek pushed past Matt and into the house. "So is Addison here?"

Matt stared at Derek, analyzing him. He decided to be honest. "She's asleep...in my bed." Matt smiled.

Derek couldn't hide the hurt and surprise in his eyes. "You two...I mean, you guys had..."

Matt didn't know what to say. Should he lie? Luckily, he didn't have to. Addison chose at the moment to appear in the doorway to the master bedroom. Her hair was tousled and she was still wearing Matt's clothes. Derek and Matt stared at her. Matt smiled and walked over to her. "Good morning!" He wrapped his arms around her.

She pushed him away and walked over to Derek. "What's going on?"

Derek removed his sunglasses and hooked them on his shirt. "I should be asking you the same question."

Addison couldn't figure out Derek's strange behavior. _What's wrong with him? Why isn't surprised to see Matt? _"Matt called me. He's alive!"

"He knew." came a voice from behind Addison. Addison whipped around to face Matt. "What?!" she screamed. Derek rubbed his face. this was going to be a long day. Addison turned back around to Derek. "How could you?"

Matt spoke again, hoping to heat up the argument between the two. "He visited LA and met me without telling you."

Addison was furious. These men had been playing with her for years! She had been devastated at the loss of Matt. She had permanently deleted him from her mind! And now he was back and everything was so confusing...

Derek approached her. " Addison, let me explain."

"Explain?!" Addison screeched. How could he possible explain lying about someone's death? That's unforgivable.

Derek tried to touch her face, but she ducked out of the way. "I only did it for you. Seeing him would have caused some serious psychological problems for you. And, on top of that, he was trying to steal you from me!"

"HEY!!" Matt yelled. That was uncalled for. Not once had Matt made a move on Addison. (Okay, once.) But Mark hit on her all the time. "Don't drag me into this! This is about you lying to her!"

Derek moved closer to Matt, closing off Addison. "You lied too! You could have seen her at any time!"

Matt took a step forward. "YOU said that she was emotional incapable. Look at her! She's fine, she's HAPPY! And, you said I would hurt her! But, guess who really hurt her, Derek?"

Addison forced her way in between the two men. "Stop acting like I'm not even here!" She turned to Derek. "You SLIMEBALL! I can't believe you convinced him that it was better for me to grieve. Matt's right about one thing. Up until the day before yesterday, you were the only man who's ever really hurt me. Stop protecting me. I'm not yours to protect!"

She turned to Matt. "And you! You have no idea how glad I am to see you. But you can't assume my thoughts. I've haven't seen you in years. How could you know what I'm feeling? I'm not fine. You have thrown my life off balance."

Addison stormed off to a nearby couch and sat with her arms crossed. Both men were silent. Matt needed time to think of an apology. Derek didn't need to. He marched to where Addison sat. "Never tell me that I'm not yours to protect. We were best friends for half of our lives! I don't think of you in a romantic way anymore, but I'm allowed to care. I know I made a mistake before. I should have told you. You know how jealous I can get."

Addison looked up at him. "You were jealous? Of MATT? You're McDreamy!" A second later, she added "Sorry, Matt. But it's true, back then, you weren't the hottie you are now."

Matt smiled at little. Derek turned back towards Matt. "I'm sorry for yelling. I've had a rough week."

Addison pats down on the couch. "Sit down. Tell me what happened." Derek sits down right next to her. "I broke up with Meredith."

Addison rubbed his arm to comfort him. Matt is slightly confused. "Is Meredith the slutty mistress?"

Addison giggles. Derek glares at her.

Matt shrugs. "Sorry. I've only heard this story from Addison's mom."

Derek continues. "Yes, she was my...mistress." It's hard for him to say that. "But she is NOT slutty."

Addison coughs out "Sex at prom."

Matt looks at Derek. "Seriously?"

Addison replies for him. "While we were married."

Matt becomes angry again. _Ms. Montgomery failed to mention this. I can't believe him! He's married to the most incredible woman and then he screws it up by have overrated sex at prom! _"You bastard." He almost lunges at Derek, but stands and gives his an evil eye.

Addison laughs and waves it off. "Don't worry. We're past it. I got over him pretty quickly."

Derek snorts. "Yeah, she slept with Mark."

_Something else _ _Addison__'s mom forgot to tell me. _"Mark Sloan? That overly cocky plastic surgeon wanna-be? Oh, Addison, you could do so much better." Matt tries to laugh, when really he's a little jealous.

Addison throws a pillow at him. "Shut up. He's an actual plastic surgeon and he can be sweet when he really wants to, especially when SOMEONE" she glares at Derek "forgets an anniversary."

"Okay!" Derek admits his mistake. "We could go on all day about what we did wrong. I just want you back at Seattle Grace to restore the balance."

"You know," Addison smiles at Derek, "I predicted you would be the last to notice I was gone."

"Well..." Derek rolls his eyes in another direction. _She is kind of right. _"I wasn't the **last **to find out, but I wasn't the first."

"Let me guess." Addison pretends to think really hard. Then her eyes light up, as if a light bulb went on in her head. "It was Mark."

Derek nods. "Yeah, I think so." Matt becomes worried. When did she become so close with this Mark guy? Matt just remembers him as a friend of Derek's. _He seems like he really cares about her. _

Addison is still talking. "What about Alex?"

_There's another one?! How many boyfriends has _ _Addison__ had? _Matt inquires instantly "Who's Alex?"

Derek raises his eyebrows at her. "Alex Karev, Addison?"

Addison explains to Matt. "He's my intern." She hopes he doesn't ask any further questions.

But unfortunately for her, Derek is interested. "Did something happen between you two?"

_Should I lie? Should I just say we kissed? _"Nothing really..." Addison leans farther away from the truth.

"Meaning..." Derek asked for her to continue."

"We might have had sex." Addison says quietly. Matt's eyes bug out. Derek laughs.

Addison is not finished. "Twice."

And there's more. "The day before yesterday."

Matt gasps. "I can't believe you! You're here, pretending to be single, leading me on..."

Addison rolls her eye at Matt. "It was nothing. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"WITH SEX?!"

"Why not? Ross and Rachel did it on Friends."

Derek pokes Addison. "Well, then they got back together."

Addison shhh's Derek. "He doesn't know that!"

Matt takes a deep breath. "So you promise? There's nothing between you and this intern?"

Addison shakes her head. "No, of course not." _I was just temporarily in love with him. And I kind of miss him now. But he doesn't want me. Matt doesn't have to know that._

"And you and Mark? It was just all sex?"

Addison hesitates, but only for a moment so Matt doesn't notice. "Yes." _We're over. Because he's a selfish man-whore. Who just might become chief._

Derek nudges her and whispers "That was a lie."

"No, it wasn't."

"I have faith that you wouldn't have cheated on me if it was nothing. You were pregnant with his baby, for God's sake."

"Excuse me?" Matt has overheard their mini-conversation.

Addison pleads Derek with her eyes to keep quiet. Derek mutters "Nothing." Addison sighs in relief.

"And Derek?" Matt's questioning is really getting old.

Addison is annoyed. "What about Derek?"

"Is your relationship over?"

Addison and Derek look at each other. Derek replies "No."

Matt takes a step back. That was not the answer he was expecting.

Derek continues. "Our friendship will hopefully continue for a long time. But we're divorced. Everything romantic between us is in the past."

Matt looks at Addison. "And you agree?"

Addison nods. "Yes. I do."

Matt falls on the couch beside Addison. "Thank God. I was getting tired of this." He rests his head in Addison's lap. She runs her hands through his hair, marveling at how soft and clean it is. She loves his haircut.

Addison turns her face toward Derek. "I think Matt is the best counselor we've ever had."

Matt raises his hand a little. "Damn straight." He can't speak much more, due to this extremely relaxed feeling of Addison's hands in his hair.

Derek laughs. He motions to Addison and Matt. "And you're okay with this?"

"Yeah, I am. It's one of the best decisions that I've ever made. It's a fresh start." She smiles.

Derek clasps one of her hands in his. "Then, I'm happy that you're happy."

"Thanks." Addison squeezes his hand. Derek lets go and stands up. "I better get going."

Matt points to him and sits up. "You better visit more often."

Derek nods. "I will. Definitely."

Matt stands up and pulls Derek into an unexpected brotherly hug. "See ya next time. And bring Meredith."

Derek and Addison both shake their head and say "Noooo..." at the same time.

Addison cups his chin in her hands. "I don't think you would like her very much."

Derek grimaces. "Yeah, it's a bad idea."

Matt shrugs, confused. "Bye, Derek."

Derek heads out the door and shuts it behind him.

Addison thinks _One down, two to go._

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Wow. This is like epic length. Even for me. I usually write five to six pages. This is THIRTEEN PAGES, baby. on MSW. Over 4500 words.

I better get a ton of reviews. Just saying that now.

Not to pressure you. Because I love you all.

But you should review because I wrote you thirteen pages in two days.

Here's the irony: It took me three and a half weeks to write a literary analysis that was 500 words. Two pages.

Let me know what you think please.

Next chapter is Maddison-ish. I think.

And by the way: This just ran on to the fourteenth page. J


	4. When I Loved You

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**My Heart Will Go On**

**Chapter 3: When I Loved You**

_Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on _

_**Previously...**_

_Mark needed answers to these questions. He was sure Richard knew more. He pressed on. "Well, where did she go?"_

_"LA." Richard replied simply. He didn't want to go into more detail if Mark didn't ask for it._

_Mark frowned. It seemed as if Richard didn't want to talk to him. "Could you be a little more specific?"_

_Richard panicked. What I am supposed to say? Richard decided to be discreet. "No." He picked up a random chart and left without a second glance. He needed to get out of there before Sloan asked another question._

_Mark was left behind in a perplexed stupor._

* * *

After talking to Richard, Mark Sloan spent the entire day thinking about Addison. Where is she? What is she doing? And most importantly, who is she with? Mark hated not knowing something that others around him did. For some reason, he felt like he was the only person in the hospital who didn't know where Addison was. And he felt like he was the only one who cared. 

So, he took advice from Derek. All morning, Mark folled the chief while he rounded on patients. Mark hid discretely in abandoned hallways and gossipy nurses' stations waiting for the perfect time to make his move. Then, his moment came. Richard stepped on to an empty elevator. Mark caught the closing door with his hand. Mark smirked. The chief jumped up a little in fright. "Dr. Sloan, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Although the chief knew exactly what Mark was doing, he desperately wanted to be proven wrong.

"Just riding the elevator." Mark replies as he pushes the emergancy stop button. The chief tried to take charge of the situation, after all, he was the chief. "Sloan, you can't do this, I have patients to see."

Mark ignored him. "You need to tell me Addison's address in LA. You need to tell me now." Mark was used to getting whatever he wanted.

_He's just trying to scare me with that threatening tone and looming stare _Richard thought. "No. I promised her that I wouldn't say a word."

Mark held out the shoebox. "This is important. I have a special delivery for her." He opens the lid just enough for Richard to peek inside. As soon as Richard sees the underwear he mutters "Oh, hell." He steps back to hold on to the railing of the elevator. Since when did all of his staff start sleeping together?

Richard was very uncomfortable sharing the elevator with Mark. Mark smiled. "As you can see it is crucial that I speak with her right away."

_Don't give in. You promised Addison _Richard reminded himself. _Deep breaths. _"You can't say anything to change my mind."

Mark needed to bring out the big ammo. "You see, Richard, it is imperative that I see Addison. I feel empty without her. Like a piece is missing from me. You could say that she 'fills a hole deep within me'. If I can't have her, I might have to find someone else to 'fill that hole deep within me'. Say..." Mark's voice lowered. "...Meredith Grey, for example."

Richard's eyes narrow. "Don't you dare." _He wouldn't do that. Derek and Meredith are happily in a relationship. And I promised Addison that I wouldn't say anything. But I also promised Ellis that I would protect Meredith. But Ellis is dead. Then again, all the more reason to honor her..._

Mark cracks his knuckles. "You shouldn't be suprised that the dirty mistresses might be attracted to each other. She's vulnerable and easy to take advantage of; she's my kind of woman."

The chief seems disturbed. Mark perceives this as an accomplishment. "So, Dr. Webber, what is it going to be?"

* * *

After a long flight, Mark finally rings the doorbell of Matt's house. He checks the address on the paper that Richard gave him in the elevator_. I hope this is it. Richard better not have given me the wrong address. It was pretty easy to get it from him. Why didn't I think of that before? I should have threatened to sleep with Meredith Grey a long time ago, when the competition for chief started. _

Suddenly, the door opens. This time, Addison answers. She seems slightly surprised. "Wow. Richard didn't waste time handing over my address."

Mark's voice was strong and his eyes were cold. "I was very persuasive." Addison reluctanly invited him into the house.

Matt, who had heard the doorbell, now descended down the stairs. He recognized Mark. But who could forget Merk?

Mark felt a flash of deja-vu as Matt approached him. Who was this mystery man? Maybe he had seen him at some plastic surgery conference. Mark watched as Matt took Addison's hand. Matt was claiming territory that had been Mark's a few days ago. Mark felt envy run through his veins. Was this an ex-boyfriend or another one of Derek's friends that Addison decided to screw? _That bastard better get his hands off-_

Addison interrupted his thoughts. "Matt, this is Mark. Mark, this is Matt. Remember? He was my friend in college." Addison saw that glint in Mark's eyes. He was going to attack. And soon.

Mark squinted at Matt, sizing him up. He looked similar to..."Were you that fat kid with the hair?"

"Mark!" Addison scolded him.

Mark couldn't believe this. "I thought you were dead!"

Matt answered this question many times. His explanation was almost verbatim. "I almost was..." Matt began, but Addison cut him off. "Mark! Stop!

"Fine." Mark let her win this battle. But the war was not over. "I brought something for you." He handed her the shoebox. Addison peered at him curiously. _He bought me shoes? Why is he being so nice now? Maybe he's feeling guilty. _She took the box and opened the lid. Matt peeked over her shoulder to see what it was. Addison almost dropped the box.

_Nice thong _Matt thought. _I wonder if they're hers_. He stopped himself_. How stupid can I be? Of course they are! There's no reason to bring her another woman's underwear. But why does he have them? _

Matt felt worried again._ I didn't realize that Addison came with such stiff competition. _

Mark started laughing. "Karev asked me to deliver these with extra care.

Addison took the underwear out and threw the box at his head. Mark managed to catch it just as it hit his head. "Ow!" He rubbed his head and dropped the box to the floor.

Matt was extremely confused again. "Karev? The intern?" His answer was met with silence, which he took for a "yes". He continued. "Why did have your underwear?"

At this, Addison turned around to face him. "We had sex, remember?"

Matt nodded. "Oh, right." All these men were hard to keep track of, but Matt could deal with it. He thought _A little jealousy is sometimes good for a relationship._

Addison turned back to Mark. "Was he upset that I left?" She prayed in her head. _Please say yes. Just let me know that he's hurting a little._

Mark wondered why she cared. _Did Karev mean more to her than just a good fuck? Not possible. _He replied in the best way he saw fit. "No, he didn't say anything. But, I was upset."

Mark saw her eyes turn sad for a moment. _Was that because of me or Karev? _There was no way that Mark was going to ask her, so there would be no way for him to find out.

In all honesty, it was really both of them. She wanted Karev to care more than anything. But she was surprised that Mark was upset. HE had called the bet off. HE had slept with another woman. "What?"

Mark couldn't believe he was acutally going to admit his mistake. "I lied before. I never broke the bet."

_Was Mark doing this just to hurt her? Just to make her feel even more guilty_? "Why did you lie to me?"

Mark felt uncomfortable and embarrassed with Matt standing there beside them. He almost asked to be alone with Addison, but Matt was watching his every move. There was no way that Matt would ever let Mark be alone with Addison without supervision_. That's understandable. I haven't given him any reason to trust me_. Addison tensed at Mark's hesitancy. Mark decided that he should tell her, whether Matt was there or not."I saw you with Karev."

"In the car?" Addison asked.

Mark looked at the ceiling, as it was difficult for him to look at Addison or Matt. "No, in the on-call room."

"Oh." Addison withdrew her voice and body. "I didn't think that anyone saw that."

Mark dropped his glance to the floor. "I felt betrayed and hurt. You promised me."

Though Addison felt a little guilty, she had to defend her position. "Mark, I didn't promise you anything. I said that I would try. I sorry. But you shouldn't have lied."

Mark hung his head in emarrassment."I know. But, Addison, I want you."

This was Matt's clue to be possessive. He waved his hand at Mark and Addison. "Ummm...Hi. I'm still here."

Addison acknowleged him. "Sorry, Matt."

Mark looked apologetic. "I'm sure you're a really great guy, but Addison and I belong together." He wrapped he arm around her. "We'll always be each other's booty calls." Mark felt pretty secure. Addison had never been able to resist him and the pleasure he provided. Mark smiled at her.

She frowned. "That is **not** what I meant." She pushed his arm of of her. "I want to be with Matt now."

Matt suddenly felt a boost of confidence. He moved toward Mark, as he was beginning to feel like an outsider. "I'm not Derek. I satisfy her. She doesn't need you anymore."

Mark was not backing down. He reached for Addison. "You can't give this up. We're meant for each other. It's not the same with anyone else."

Addison didn't know why Mark was suddenly passionate about their relationship. He had always leaned toward Derek's mindset. He wouldn't care as long as she was still free to screw whenever he wanted. It wasn't like she was marrying Matt or anything. (Even that wouldn't stop him.) "You only think that because you haven't found anyone else to love."

Mark paced around her. "No Addison. We obviously keep coming back to each other."

"That was one time!" Addison yelled. "And it was a booty call that you took too far!"

Mark thought _I bet Matty doesn't know this..._ "And what about our baby?! That has to mean something to you!"

Matt tried to remember. Nothing had been said about a baby the day before. Maybe Derek didn't know about this. Matt felt better. Finally, a secret that he possessed. He was now on the inside circle.

Addison argued back. "I aborted it! That must tell you something. I do not want to be with you!!"

Mark collapsed on to the floor, defeated. Addison tried to hold her around, but she failed. She sank down right next to him, sitting on the bottom step of the stairs. He leaned back and placed his head on her lap so she could run her fingers through his hair. Both seemed to ignore Matt, who was still standing there next to them. He pointed between the two of them. "Did something just happen here?"

Addison leaned against the stairs. "We were fighting. Then, we got tired. And now we're not."

Matt wished Addison wouldn't be so intimately involved with her male friends. But, then again, Addison had always been a hugging and touching person with everyone. Matt had been surprised when she had started to date Derek, who was never much for PDA's. Matt decided that he wasn't going to be like Derek. If Addison wanted a hug, then she was going to get one. But, Mark didn't seem to be having a problem with Addison's touch either. Addison was completely ignoring Matt now. He needed to make himself know in her mind and in her heart. He sat next to Addison on the steps. He picked her hand off of Mark's head and held it in his lap. Addison finally looked at him. She sighed an leand her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. Mark noticed her movement and looked back at her over her shoulder. Matt and Addison looked cute like that. Mark closed his eyes. They looked like the kind of couple that would be together when they were old. He had also felt that chemistry between Derek and Addison. Mark had never found it. Maybe he was meant to die young, before he had a chance to marry. Or maybe, Addison was right and he just hasn't found the right person. Mark opened his eyes again and said "Do I have to let you go?" He wasn't ready to move on, even if Addison was.

Addison was glad neither man could see the tears in her eyes. "I'm afraid so." Mark took a deep breath in. Addison noticed. "We can still be friends." she added.

"With benefits?" Mark asked hopfully.

Matt replied for her. "No."

"Once a month is all that I am asking. Just to hold me over."

"No!" Both Addison and Matt shout this time.

This sit in silence while Mark thinks. "I'm in denial that this is actually happening."

Addison rests a hand on his shoulder. "That's okay." She pauses. "I love you." She hopes that was okay to say. Matt's right there next to her. And she isn't sure if Mark is ready to hear those words in a platonic way.

Mark turns around with a smile that floods relief around her. "Love you too." He stands up. "And for what it's worth, I'm sure Karev is back in Seattle crying his eyes out."

Addison laughs. "Thank you." She isn't really sure why she said that. She and Matt stand up and follow Mark to the door. Mark takes one last look at Addison. Then he looks at Matt. "Good luck, man. The worst has yet to come." And with that he leaves.

Addison blushes as she closes the door. "He has no idea what he's talking about. We'll be fine."

Matt wraps his hands around her waist to grab her curves. "Don't worry. I'm an optimistic person. I'm looking forward to whatever comes next."

He kisses her on the cheek and then down her jaw to her neck. She giggles and sighs. He's thankful for the stretchy shirt that she's wearing. It allows his kisses to get lower and lower until he reaches absolute bliss. She can't stiffle a moan, but then pulls his head back to her face for a few more long kisses. Then, she removes his hands from her body and walks away smirking.

He follows her, because she draws him in like a magnetic. He doesn't want to beg, but it almost comes out of his mouth that way. "Please, please. Just once."

She laughs. He needs his hands on her skin, or else he might explode. "It's not fair. Everyone else gets to have sex with you."

She allows him to bury his face in her chest again, but when he reaches for her jeans buckle, she pushes his hand away. He groans and lifts his head. "What now?"

She wags a finger at him. "Patience is a virtue. Just wait your turn." She gives him a playful smile and pushes him away to sit down on the couch.

She can barely hear it, but he calls her a "Tease." as he sits down to join her.

* * *

So it's a little shorter.

But you can review just as much.

The next chapter will be second to last, or last. Gold star to whoever guesses who visits Addison next. Cookies for the first four.

Thanks for reading!


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